A DEMEANING EXPERIENCE

Going into a stroke situation that is.

You spend all those years being private and looking after your own needs and desires, then – BANG – forget embarrassment it just happens, forget privacy – so does that. Then just as you get used to strangers doing all those personal things – you go home, and it starts all over again. Although this time it’s your wife, and you really want to do it yourself ( for personal pride) and because you want to take the weight off her shoulders (because you love her deeply, and because it makes you feel more useful. (and it’s all part of rehabilitation anyway )

It can take an hour,to an hour and a quarter, to get ready for the day ahead. The daily wash I can manage mostly on my own (although here I am , 9 months after the event, still being made to wait for the local council to alter our bathroom so that I can get into a shower. They say we are on a list. No-one seems to care that the  last time I had an all over wash was last year. (every young lads dream of course – BUT NOT MINE.) This means that some of the more personal and intimate things have to be done for me, which, even though it’s Pat, is most demeaning at times, for her as well as myself.

Pat still has to help me to get dressed, although if we are not in a hurry I can get it done for myself, although it’s amazing how exhausting it can be to get the left foot dressed and slippered.

And so to the day.

I can feed myself O.k, although my food has to cut up for me still, and I am able to (and do) do the washing up, wiping up, and putting away. (nothing broken yet!) Small jobs we try to do together if it’s safe  (and sometimes if it’s not) but I still can’t tackle the hoovering, or mow the grass, or dig the garden. It’ll come. So I spend my time glued to the seat of the chair, and dreaming of what I could be doing.

On to bed – getting undressed is very much easier, only taking a quarter of an hour, and getting in to bed is a piece of cake. Every night is disturbed, several times, by calls of nature, so a full nights sleep is a big unknown. (I can always drop off during the day though, so all is not lost) Pats sleep is also disturbed most nights, but it’s getting better as time goes on.

Fortunately we can, and do, enjoy some good laughs at my  attempts to move along. It’s not all demeaning, and if you can laugh at yourself it becomes easier to endure. Endurance is something I have to learn to accept if I am to fully recover. ACCEPT the problems, regard them as challenges, and OVERCOME.

I WILL.

Thought of the day ………. what’s the target for tomorrow,

I’ll let you know another time, and how it was achieved ………… IT WILL BE – OF COURSE.

Tony

Author: tonys1stroke

I am a 74 year old stroke victim (partially paralysed), but in recovery mode, who wishes to share information (in both directions) as a means of gaining improvements from our experiences.

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